A Birthmother Story: What Choosing Adoption Meant for Her

Working with our birthmoms is such a special part of our job. We have caseworkers dedicated to these courageous women supporting them from the minute they decide adoption is the right choice for them. We work with them throughout the pregnancy and help them every step of the way throughout the adoption process to post adoption when often, they need us most.

Here is a story from one of our birthmothers who placed her baby for adoption. She preferred to remain anonymous, but her words will ring true for any woman in her shoes.

“Bringing a child into the world changes your entire life and isn’t an easy thing to do. You can never be too prepared, and there is no step by step guide on what to do, how to feel or what not to do. But what is even more difficult is making what you think and hope to be the best decisions you can for a precious baby to be able to live the most healthy and happy life possible. For me, that decision was adoption. I didnt choose adoption because I didn’t want or love my child; I made that decision because I love him so much I wanted him to have a better life than I was able to provide for him at that time in my life.

Making that decision was by far the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make both mentally and emotionally. For me to be able to make the best decision I could for my child, I had to think outside of my emotions and logically get myself to realize that keeping an innocent child I wasn’t fully capable to provide for and properly raise would be a selfish thing. Love goes a long way, but children deserve life and by chosing adoption, I was able give my child life. After coming to terms with my decision, I had to find an adoption agency I could trust and be confident my child would be raised in a good home with a loving family. I found A Baby Step Adoption while doing some research and figured I had to start somewhere. Fortunately, I didnt have to search any further. I met with my caseworker and after hearing all the ins and outs and the extensive background checks they do on the families, I instantly knew they were the one. My caseworker was extremely amazing. She was supportive, understanding, caring and helpful on so many levels. Having someone like that to help guide me mentally and emotionally through this process made a world of a difference. She made sure she found a family that completely fit with the standards I hoped for for my child. I chose to do an open adoption. At first I wanted it closed thinking that would be what was easiest for me to move on, but not thinking that maybe someday down the line an open adoption would be easiest for my child. By the time everything was said and done I was happy my caseworker helped me realize that open adotion was the best choice. Since I chose the open adoption I also chose to meet the adoptive parents at birth and that made it much more settling for my heart and mind to know whom my child was going to be raised by. Aside from doing everything she could to help me help my child have a better life, she also helped me better my life as well. ABSA provided counseling to help me with any mental or emotional struggles that came along with choosing adoption as well as put funds aside to help get me back on my feet. My caseworker constantly checked in with me to see how I was doing and feeling before and especially after the birth, making sure I was moving forward in my life in a healthy positive way. Overall, I can confidently say that ABSA supportively guided me through not only the adoption process but through the toughest decision of my life and making it as easy as they possibly could for me. Nothing in life is easy especially life changing decisions but you have to do whats best for the bigger picture. Find support. And push through. Sometimes what’s best isn’t easy and what’s easy isn’t always right. But making the right decision for a child’s life is the best thing you can do whatever that decision may be.”